The ways we can heal are so fascinating to me. I have the privilege of watching it happen right in front of me as I work with clients. No two are ever the same! And I’m even continuously learning how it works for me. Sometimes it happens in a new way. And sometimes it’s a pattern that I finally recognize. The latter happened to my last week.

I woke up to a gray and rainy morning after a night of dreams that left me feeling like the weather outside. I felt unsettled. There was some sadness there too. My dreams are pretty vivid and are full of signs and symbols and messages. When I wake up from a dream and feel any kind of heaviness, I take a few minutes to sit with the dream. I get quiet and see if I get any clarity about it. I also ask my spirit posse to help me understand the message(s) in the dream. When that clarity comes, I do some energy work, clearing away any old energy. The heaviness lifts away, I feel like my regular happy self and I jump into my day.

As I sat with my dream the other morning though, nothing was coming to me. Eventually I got out of bed and starting thinking about what I could do to lift my spirits. The things I usually enjoy felt irritating to me and I wasn’t feeling any bit happier. That’s when I knew I’d have to sit with this for a bit. It’s not that I was cranky or in a bad mood, I just felt like meh. And that’s how I went through my day. I just kept reminding myself that I’m going through some change and that I am safe. I also reminded myself that all my emotions are my friends and they all help me, even the yucky feeling ones.

That night I got into bed a little earlier than usual and got quiet. And in that quiet some things came to me that made sense. There are some generational patterns playing out that no longer resonate with me. I also understood that I felt unsettled and sad because I keep playing small in this life, holding myself back in certain ways. So I’m feeling the disconnect between what I’m doing here and what my playful, ever expanding soul wants to do. Once I understood that, I did some energy work and fell asleep feeling better.

That night I had another vivid dream. I was at my grandparent’s house (my mom’s parents). In the driveway was a huge dumpster. I could see some things already thrown in it. There were people there who were hired to help my grandmother clean out her house, throwing away the things she didn’t need anymore. I stayed for a little bit, then left and started driving to my other grandparent’s house (my dad’s parents). When I woke up from that dream, I knew it was validation that I had healed some generational stuff, not only for myself but hopefully for other family members too.

I’m sharing this with you because sometimes we get signs that we’re ready to heal something, but we don’t recognize them. I realized that what I went through the other day has been a pattern for me for years. When I was in my teens, I thought I was just moody. But there were healing opportunities there. A chance to let go of emotions I had ignored or hid (from others and even myself).  A chance to let go of the past. A chance to get more into alignment with my soul. A chance to heal.

So yes, I spent a day in a meh mood, which is not how I prefer to spend any day. By sitting in the emotions and allowing myself to feel them though, I let them bubble up to the surface, where I could finally release them.

And that’s the amazing thing about healing.  Those emotions that weren’t really fun to feel were helping me understand where I am within myself. Helping me to see that I’m holding onto things, energy, that’s not doing me any good.

For too long we’ve been conditioned to think of emotions like sadness or anger as bad, something we shouldn’t feel, something to avoid, something to hide, something to bury inside ourselves. We’ve done a disservice to emotions and ourselves by believing that. It’s time to let go of that old thinking and deal with our emotions in healthier ways. Knowing they are not only about how we feel (and being honest about it), but how they are useful in our own inner healing.

And how did I feel after my day of meh and the dream with my grandparents? I woke up the next morning and that unsettled feeling and the sadness were much less. I felt more like my usual happy self and every day since then it’s gotten better!